..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize