btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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