You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
