I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
