You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
