I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
