Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
