Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
