I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
