i permit you to call me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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