nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
