It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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