omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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