I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Randomize
