mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
