I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
