Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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