I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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