so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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