her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
