If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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