yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Randomize
