Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
