Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
