Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
