i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
