'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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