some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
