Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
