What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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