YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
