Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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