Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
where are my eyebrows?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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