omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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