You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My dick has a subreddit
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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