Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
