I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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