My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
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