I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
