uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
