i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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