She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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