dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one