I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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