You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The adults are the big ones right?
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