And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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