I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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