Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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