we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize