There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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