we have officially lost it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
