I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
