We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
