New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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