she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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