I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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