then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
