Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
