I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
